A Need for Certainty

By Dr. Cynthia Chapman, Carlsbad, California

There are a number of things that make us humans vulnerable to anxiety and worry. But one of the common attitudes among people who deal with anxiety is having a need for certainty.

It is almost as though we are requiring 100 percent certainty that we will encounter zero risk. Well, this is just too much to ask out of life. People with anxiety, phobias, and panic ask questions such as, Can I know for certain I won’t have panic symptoms when I go to that job interview? Can I know for sure that I won’t have to leave if I do go to the interview? Can I know for certain that I won’t feel trapped? Can I know for sure that I won’t cause an embarrassing scene?

If the theory that some people’s brains causes them to feel a strong and inappropriate need for certainty is true, then tackling this problem involves changing those demanding thoughts. So, that means you work to find a way to accept the outcome that you fear. When you have faced this scenario in the past you have probably tried to reassure yourself or get reassurance from someone else. The problem with that is that it’s helpful for about 5 seconds. No amount of reassurance will ever be enough because you still don’t know for certain that whatever you fear is not going to occur. So that nagging anxiety voice will continue to haunt you.

The attitude to aim for instead is, I can tolerate uncertainty. Examples include: “I accept the possibility of a panic attack/plane crash/making a wrong decision, etc., happening.”

For a fear of leaving a situation, you might say to yourself, “I accept the possibility that I might have to leave the restaurant. I imagine that I might feel embarrassed but I’m willing to tolerate that now.”

In the case of fear of a plane crash, you could say, “I accept the possibility that this plane could crash. I’m going to act, think, and feel as if this plane is 100% safe. I accept the risk that I could be wrong.”

Lastly, in the case of fear of a wrong decision, “I accept the possibility that this may not be a perfect decision and I will deal with the consequences that come with it. Yet, I have made a thoughtful decision weighing all the information that I have at this time and therefore making the best decision I’m capable of. I accept and can tolerate that I may be wrong.”

The bottom line is this: When you accept the possibility of a negative outcome, you avoid the need for absolute certainty for your future safety either physically or psychologically. Your responsibility is to lower your risk of problems as much as makes common sense but then to accept the remaining risk that is not under your control.

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Comment from Lori: This difficulty with uncertainty is especially challenging for those with OCD. As Dr. Chapman noted, reassurance seeking or other attempts to gain certainty are only momentarily helpful; and they can perpetuate the vicious cycle of OCD.